As I came up with that heading for this blog, I did ask myself if that is a term still in use, or maybe discarded or renewed with a more up-to-date version?
So what does it mean to have Ants in Your Pants? Well, you might be feeling a little bit ‘itchy scratchy’ with another person. You may notice that you are on a short fuse with them or it appears that they cannot do anything right on your eyes at this present moment in time.
Ok, what I would like you to do, is to think about yourself for a moment. I would like you to ask yourself is there anything that you are unhappy with about you. You may be annoyed with yourself for not doing something, or wish you could be more like this other person.
Let me give you an example;
Imagine you were going to go to the gym but instead gave it a miss for whatever reason. Later that day, your partner is eating a cake. They are enjoying it and clearly have no guilt – which is a good thing right?! Not for you, you may feel resentful because in order for you to have that cake without guilt, would have been going to the gym.
Now, please don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that you have to go to the gym in order to eat cake, remember this is just an example of how if we haven’t done something for ourselves, we can then pass it on to another person. Let’s say, they haven’t done anything in particular, but you are aware that you seem to be irritated by them.
I totally appreciate, that at that moment in time, it will probably appear to you, that they have done something to warrant your irritation but, if you are able to do so, I would like you to take some time out.
Ok, during your time out, can you go and sit in another room (preferably away from the person who has irritated you, otherwise the irritation could be stronger than you being able to do this exercise).
Right, now you are in another room take a moment to do a minute of breathing exercises, Just breathing in loudly and out loudly, notice the rhythm in your body. This will help ground you to the here and now and hopefully put your irritation on pause whilst we do the next part of the exercise.
Part 2. I would now like you to rewind your mind to the beginning of the day for you, from the moment you woke up. Then slowly as if going through each part of the day as if it is in slow motion, notice at what point you became irritated by yourself.
Once you hit that point – stop!
Now I would like you to ask yourself, why you are irritated? What did it mean to you to do or not do what you did – be kind to yourself why you do this bit.
Part 3, is to acknowledge that you are passing on your irritation to the other person.
I would encourage you to do another 1 minute of breathing exercise. Again, this will ground you to the here and now.
The final part, is to congratulate yourself, on taking the time to notice what was causing you to have ‘Ants in Your Pants’.
A good reminder to have noted down on your phone when you are next felling irritated is;
“What is it that I am not doing for me that I am passing on to someone else”?