I am currently running a competition on Facebook to win a Biscuiteers ‘Beside the Seaside’ luxe tin of biscuits!
For your chance to win Follow these two simple steps:
1. Find Your Space Today on Facebook and Like my page
2. Like and comment on this Facebook post by clicking here
I will draw the lucky winner when I get to 150 page Likes! Good Luck!
Terms and conditions:
- By entering this competition, an entrant is indicating his/her agreement to be bound by these terms and conditions
- There is no entry fee and no purchase necessary to enter this competition
- The prize has no cash value and cannot be exchanged
- Winner will be chosen at random via a draw
- Winner will be contacted via Facebook
- Winner has 7 days to provide their details and claim their prize
- In the event of an unclaimed prize, a new winner will be drawn
- This competition is not sponsored, endorsed or administered by, or associated with, Biscuiteers or Facebook
- In the event the biscuit tin is out of stock or no longer available a similar tin of equal or greater value will be chosen as the prize.
- Competition is open to UK residents only
- Competition is open to entrants aged 13 and over (entrants between 13-17 must have parental or guardian permission)
- Entry into the competition will be deemed as acceptance of these terms and conditions
However, something that becomes very apparent in the counselling room on many occasions, is how people stop thinking about themselves.
When I notice this and bring it to the clients attention, or indeed ask them what do they do for themselves, whether it is to relax or what they do as a hobby, they sometimes look surprised. They may feel that they have so much going on in their lives, with families, work etc. that there isn’t time, or what they do for others gives them enough joy. But that isn’t the same as doing something for themselves.
I feel this can be a really useful time to explore what they used to do that they enjoyed, or what would they like to do if they had the time. I normally ask my client to use the week in between our next session to ‘play’ with the idea of what interests they could re-kindle or potentially start a new interest.
This can be something as simple as really enjoying that cup of tea. So not having it whilst doing 101 other things, but actually sitting down, maybe with your phone or not, with a magazine or book or not. Allowing yourself 10-15 minutes to just sit and take some time out.
It may be that you really enjoy gardening but when was the last time that you wandered around your garden taking in all the hard work that you have done and actually enjoy your garden; the plants, flowers, pond etc. I challenge you to have a go at relishing in what you have done. You may notice something needs attention and it’s fine to take a mental note but DO NOT do anything about it right now, because this is Your time in the garden. You can deal with that later, right now, it’s about you reaping the rewards of your hard work.
Is there is a hobby you used to do, or maybe you would like to take up? You could go to your local library and see what’s on their notice board. Maybe you don’t feel you have time to read a book at the moment or feel too tired but if you spend a lot of time in your car, have you ever tried an audio book? You never know you might like it and hey that will be your time.
Just because you have many different roles in your life, it doesn’t mean that you have to forget who You are and what You like. If you feel that you are unsure where to start, or what it is that you used to like doing, we could work together to see what might be of interest to you, or what might be stopping you from doing something for you?
I can offer a confidential setting at my private practice based in Storrington. I am close to the A24 and have off-road parking. Why not contact me to see how I can help you?
It is OK for you to do something for You.
As it is for anyone, the first initial contact with a counsellor may be nerve-racking, but once the counselling gets going, you will hopefully be glad that you took that step. I have worked with men and women on a variety of issues, including bereavement, anxiety, stress, relationships and self-esteem.
As a man, you are prone to exactly the same things as a woman. Being male doesn’t automatically mean that these issues will bypass you. However, what is really important, is listening to how You feel. What is going on for You and what is it that You are struggling with.
Let me reassure you: firstly, when you come to counselling it is confidential, (unless you are talking about harming yourself or others, then we will need to look at what additional support you may need, or you are a young person, then we would need parental consent). But what I mean by confidential, is that your friends and family are not going to know you are seeing a counsellor.
As I say to all my clients, if I see you in the street I wont say ‘hello’ to you, but if you say ‘hello’ to me then I will acknowledge you. This is partly in case you are with someone and may not want to explain who I am and this puts You in control.
During my time working with men, I always notice how relieved they appear when they start to feel able to express what is going on for them in their words – no censoring required, just saying it how it is.
One of the ‘hurdles’ that sometimes comes up with my male clients in counselling is that, they don’t know how they feel or are unsure what it is that’s causing them to feel how they do. That’s ok, together we can unpick this and work through it. I don’t expect you to come to counselling with all the answers, and even if you do feel you have the answers, we can work out what could be good for You. Because this is your time to think about You.
If you are still unsure whether counselling is for you, or what it might be like, why not arrange a free 20 minute introductory session with me. At the end of that time you can decide if you want to work with me and carry on or, you may want to think about it and that’s ok too.
Counselling should be a place where you feel comfortable in exploring what is going on for you. I acknowledge that at times discussing certain things can feel difficult, but actually ‘going’ to counselling should never seem like a chore or that you dread it. If that’s the case, I would say something isn’t right and maybe you need to be honest with yourself – how do you actually feel about your counsellor?
For me this is so important – having the right counsellor for You means you can do some incredible work together! Feel free to read my testimonials some of these are from the men that I have worked with.
Why not contact me to arrange either a 20 or 50 minute session – the choice is yours. My private practice is based in Storrington and has off-road parking. I look forward to hearing from you.
You are worthy of having your feelings heard.
Let’s clear one thing up straight away – nothing is wrong with you.
Postnatal depression affects at least 1 in 10 women It is important to recognize and appreciate that it isn’t about the other nine women, this is about You and how You are feeling.
Sometimes, when you are struggling with understanding your emotions after having your baby, you may keep going, putting on a ‘brave face’ and yet behind closed doors you feel everything but brave. This may be the first time that you are allowing yourself to acknowledge that things are not how you expected it to be.
Your friends and family’s excitement with your new arrival, leaves you questioning yourself further, along with photos of smiling parents and babies on packaging for nappies, wipes, etc. This may cause you conflict within yourself and you may find yourself asking yourself, how is it that I am different to other mums, why am I not filled with joy?
The feelings that you are experiencing may start off quite subtle, you may have a lack of energy or constantly feel tired, which anyone could dismiss as part of giving birth and having a new baby to look after. Other signs such as a feeling of sadness, difficulty bonding with you baby and lack of enjoyment or engagement with others may seem more harder to ‘justify’.
Because postnatal depression can develop gradually, you may not realise this is what is happening to you, but you do realise that something isn’t ‘quite right’. Now is the time to ask for help. In the first instance you could talk to your GP or health visitor, they will be trained in recognising and understanding postnatal depression and have techniques that can help.
The first thing to do is start talking to people, to your friends and family about how You are feeling – if you notice your partner is struggling, encourage them to seek help.
It can also be really hard for a partner to see how the affects of postnatal depression is having on their loved one and so if that’s You then you may find it beneficial to see help, or at least talk to someone about how it is for You and the concerns that you have.
It is really important to know that having postnatal depression doesn’t make you a bad parent, or that your baby will be taken away, this is not your fault and there are plenty of support options for You.
If speaking to someone you already know feels too difficult then you may prefer to seek counselling where we can look at what is happening for You. You may choose to work through this with me, where we can understand exactly how this is affecting you and put in place practical ways for you manage on a day-to-day basis, one step at a time.
It may be that you would prefer to have some support from me with regards to contacting your GP or Health Visitor or even other support groups. This can help you not feel like you are tackling something else on your own.
Why not contact me to see how we can work through your postnatal depression – together.
Remember it’s not your fault you’re depressed.
Due to 24/7 access to the world, whether it’s social media, emails, the internet or BBC Newsflash alerts we are now a generation known as ‘Always On’, and at times it can seem impossible to turn off!
Being “always on” can be tricky and cause anxiety, constantly waiting to see if someone “likes” what you have said, or wondering why you don’t appear to have been invited to a night out. Whilst it may feel like you are connected to lots of ‘friends’ at times it can also feel incredibly lonely which may affect our self-esteem.
It is important to find a balance between the amount of time you spend on-screen and the time you spend off-screen. It can be really easy to feel that the internet is real life, but often what we see on the internet doesn’t always reflect the true picture.
From the 30th April-6th May, its ‘Screen Free Week’, this is an opportunity to ‘rediscover what is beyond the screen’.
I wonder if you were to really think about your relationship with your mobile device and how ‘attached’ you are, what would you say? I check my phone a few times a day, I feel lost without it, I am comfortable going out for the day and leaving it at home? If you were to ask someone who knows you well, I wonder what they would say about your relationship with your phone?
If I were to ask you to turn your phone or tablet off for half an hour, how does that feel? Does it feel like an impossible task? Will you be worried about what you might miss? Or would you feel a sense of relief and relish the peace and quiet?
It might feel too much to not be able to see what’s going on, or difficult to give yourself permission to simply let go of your device(s).
If you have read some of my other blogs, you will know that I tend to put a challenge in my blogs, so here is this months challenge. Now, I would like you to commit to this challenge for five days – gulp – yes I did just say FIVE days!
Ok, this is what I would like you to do:
Day 1 – I would like you to pay attention how often you check your phone or tablet a day (that’s it).
Day 2 – I would like you to notice how often you check your phone or tablet a day and really think about what it was that you were checking or using your phone for.
Day 3 – If possible, I would like to place your phone at a distance away. So if you’re at work, put it in your drawer. If you are at home, place it in another room. On this day, I would like you to notice how it feels to not be ‘attached’ to your phone, or to not be able to physically see it or use it.
Day 4 – I would like to try a re-run of day 3, because I imagine day 3 was probably pretty tough. How did you feel? Could you physically detach yourself? What did you think you were going to miss out on? Or were you surprised by the relief of not ‘carrying’ your phone everywhere you go.
Day 5 – This is going to be another tricky day (but it’s the last day) I would like you to not use your phone to fill time. So if you are waiting to grab a coffee, or sitting on a bus or train, instead of reaching for your phone, I would like you to just be You wherever you are, because you know, its ok to not be ‘Always On’, even computers and TV’s have standby mode.
Well done You! This wasn’t an easy task but You did it!
If you feel that you are ‘living’ through your mobile device or you feel anxious about what is being said on your favourite social media why not contact me to see if we can look at you having a healthy relationship with your mobile device, where You are in control.
Remember it’s ok for You to switch off.
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“I was apprehensive at first but Sophie made me feel at ease and comfortable and throughout she helped me believe in myself again and get the confidence and strength back. My time with Sophie was invaluable.”
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Your Space Today is a private counselling service providing a confidential, supportive and safe place to talk.